


Do-It-Yourself Plumbing

by mormorando (shine)



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: Crack, F/M, Genderswap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-03
Updated: 2009-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:03:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shine/pseuds/mormorando
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Park Yoochun has boobs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do-It-Yourself Plumbing

Yoochun falls asleep at his piano without turning it off, head pillowed by his arms under the music stand. He is jolted awake an hour later when an awful, dissonant chord blares from the speakers. Sitting up, he turns off the keyboard and looks down to find out why the keys were pressed down to begin with.

Park Yoochun has boobs.

 

"Oh my god, fuck this," Yoochun says when she leaves the comfort of her workroom to find the other four already in the living room, all with similar bumps under their baggy t-shirts. "Why can't you let me be special?"

"See?" Jaejoong says to Yunho. "Yoochun doesn't think it's a big deal either."

"You shave your armpits and both of you buy women's jeans," Changmin says. "Your opinions count the least right now."

Jaejoong pulls Yoochun down next to her on the couch. "Don't you think Changmin's extra bitchy as a girl?"

"He's just pissed 'cause his boobs are A-cups," Yoochun says while staring across the coffee table. Junsu's in the single chair, curled into a ball with her eyes peeking over her knees. "Has your ass gotten bigger?"

Junsu turns red, probably from both embarrassment and anger, before placing a sofa pillow in front of her.

"Can we focus on what's important please?" Yunho says, speaking for the first time since Yoochun walked in. Her hair's still short, which Yoochun supposes is good since her face looks even smaller. "Does anyone have any idea why this happened?"

"I think Yoochun's old girlfriends got together to form a satanic cult to punish him and we got pulled into the mess unfairly."

"They're called implants, Changmin," Yoochun says.

"Hey, are those covered by our insurance plan?" Jaejoong says, cupping her breasts and squeezing twice. "I could use a bit of lift, don't you think?"

"I think hyung looks really natural," Junsu says, voice muffled since her mouth is still pressed against her knees.

Jaejoong beams and goes over to smother Junsu's face with her chest in what's supposed to be a hug.

The discussion doesn't get that much more productive after that.

 

The elephant in the room is about the other part that changes when you turn into a girl. They dutifully ignore this issue until Yoochun can't take it anymore and blurts out during dinner, "So has anyone else looked at their new vagina?"

Yunho, who had just put a piece of kimchi in her mouth, chokes at Yoochun's words and ends up snorting chili sauce up her nose. Jaejoong pounds on Yunho's back as she starts coughing and her eyes water.

Yoochun smiles sheepishly. "Sorry?"

"I'm not hungry anymore," Changmin says. Junsu pushes her bowl away too, frowning. "You couldn't have waited until after we're done eating to ask?"

"No," Yoochun says. "Besides, you're done now, aren't you? So answer."

"I'm not answering."

"No answer usually means yes."

"Except when I say I'm not answering and it actually means I'm not answering."

Yunho's still wiping at her eyes when she butts in and says, "Is that really a relevant issue right now?"

"Sexual exploration should be nurtured," Yoochun says, folding her pancake in half. Picking it up, she holds it vertically and dangles it in front of Yunho's face. Jaejoong giggles before leaning over to bite off a chunk at the bottom.

"So no one has?" Jaejoong says, mouth half-full.

Everyone shakes their heads -- except for Junsu.

Yoochun leans forward immediately, eyes wide. " _Shut. Up._ Did you really?"

Junsu sputters before answering. "I had just woken up and was tired and really needed to pee except what's usually down there wasn't and I freaked out but I still had to pee so I did and then I. You know. Looked and stuff." Her cheeks go from pink to red.

"And _stuff_?"

"It was an accident, I didn't mean to touch it!"

There is a brief lull in conversation where Junsu messily brushes her hair forward to hide her face and everyone else very carefully deliberates whether or not they want to collectively go there. In the end, it's Junsu who breaks the silence from behind her curtain of tangled hair.

"You know. It doesn't drip like all the porn suggests."

Changmin sighs her My Hyungs Are The Biggest Burdens Ever sigh. "It's a vagina, not a leaky faucet."

 

They all turn in early, hoping that spontaneous penis disappearance is one of those 24-hour flu things. Yoochun knows she's not going to fall asleep so she doesn't even try, instead staring at the ceiling in the dark. Over in Jaejoong's bed, sheets rustle, meaning she's awake too.

"Yoochun-ah?"

"Mm?"

"I bet Changmin was totally lying. No answer definitely means yes."

"Right?" Yoochun turns onto her side. "He'd totally be the first to, you know, do that stuff."

"Seriously!" There's more rustling and Yoochun watches as Jaejoong sits up, gathering her blankets around her, then waddle over to Yoochun's side.

"My blankets _are_ big enough to share," Yoochun says, sitting up to make room for Jaejoong at the foot of the bed.

"I don't like yours. They scratch," Jaejoong says, looking like a pyramid of blankets with just her head poking out the top. "Hey."

"Hey...?"

"Do girls really have, I mean. Y'know. Over and over?"

"Oh. I dunno. Never been with one that did. Have you?"

Jaejoong ducks her head, meaning she's blushing. "No, was hoping you have."

"Nope. Sorry."

There's a few moments of awkward silence.

"So. Do you wanna race to see who can have the most?"

Jaejoong all but flies up, lying down next to Yoochun. She has her game face on.

"Bring it, Park."

 

In the morning, they're still girls. Changmin glares at him during breakfast and asks why he looks so happy about it.

"Because I won. _Five_ times."


End file.
